Some summer holiday flying stories

A lot of folks in the northern hemisphere are flying off for summer holidays at the moment (while in the southern hemisphere we can only dream of summer -- I woke up to minus 2 degrees this morning, for example), so I thought I'd share some funny flying stories this week ...

Full marks for honesty -- you have been warned! ;)

Identity crisis

On a recent business trip to Hong Kong, my colleague and I checked out of the hotel together, and our passports were returned. I headed to the airport and back home to head office in Australia. My colleague still had other things to take care of in Hong Kong. A couple of days later I got a call in the office.

“I’ve got your passport and they won’t let me board the plane,” said my confused colleague from Chek Lap Kok airport. I pulled the passport out of my briefcase and, sure enough, I had his passport. Obviously mixed up at the hotel. His passport was then couriered back to Hong Kong and he returned to head office a couple of days later.

Funnily enough I had no problem using his passport, despite my much better looks and relative youth. I believe he tells the story a little differently!

Killer queues

Arriving into Delhi airport is a kind of hell, because even though you have a pre-approved visa already you need to then join the long lines and suffer the joys of plodding Indian bureaucracy. One time the queues went forever. We inched forward, and more than an hour went by. A foreigner in the queue next to me was next to be served. Finally! As she handed over her passport, she fainted and – as she fell -- whacked her chin on the counter. She lay there, as foreign visitors swarmed around offering her water, and laying her down properly. The officer barely looked up but tut-tutted that she was messing up his floor with her blood. After I had been served I looked back to see she was now being held upright by others so she could get her fingerprint biometrics done. Welcome to Incredible India!

Brand name hotel

Arriving into Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok, one time, the immigration officer handed my form back to me. “No hotel, no address, cannot.”

So I grabbed a pen and filled in the details as carefully as I could:

“Some Hotel. 123 Fake Street.” Then passed the form back to him.

“OK now, sir.”

These stories are lifted from my book Bamboozled: The Lighter Side of Life in Asia, which has about 400 more funny -- and a few really unfunny -- anecdotes. Feel free to share with anyone who's travelling to Asia at the moment, or perhaps just returned.

Till next time, go well. Cheers! Stuart.

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